Holy Apostles Orthodox Church · Chilliwack, BC
Holy ApostlesBrotherhood
Prayer, Scripture and honest talk for the men of our parish.
Why come
Many of us see each other every Sunday and know very little about each other's lives.
This is a place to know each other by name, pray for each other, and carry each other's burdens. We read Scripture together and ask what it asks of us as husbands, fathers, sons, single men and working men, Monday to Saturday.
Most of what a man does at church is give: his time, his money, his hands. This is the time he comes to receive.
“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”Galatians 6:2
- Brothers who know your nameThe same men, week after week. Friendship grows from there.
- Scripture that works on MondayOne passage, one question drawn from it, and real life brought to both.
- Help at homeAs a husband, a father, or a single man preparing for what God has for him.
- Men praying for you by nameEach week we bring each other's needs to God, and keep praying through the week.
- A deeper life of prayerOver time, the Jesus Prayer and the wisdom of the Fathers, at the pace Fr Matthew sets.
A meeting together
Every meeting has the same simple shape.
We pray, we read, we talk honestly, and we pray for each other. The length will be announced with the first date. Shown here as a one-hour meeting, half the time belongs to the conversation, and we always start and finish on time.
- 0–10 min
Coffee and welcome
Breakfast on the table. New men are introduced around.
- 10–15
Trisagion prayers
We stand before the icons and pray together. The prayers are printed, and we learn them by heart over time.
- 15–20
The passage
A short setup, then one man reads a passage of Scripture aloud.
- 20–50
The question
One question drawn straight from the passage. The leader answers first, then everyone has room to speak. Any man may pass.
- 50–57
One thing and prayer
Each man names one thing he'll do this week, and one prayer need.
- 57–60
Closing prayer
The Lord's Prayer, and we're out the door on time.
A sample morning
Burden or blessing?
Here is one meeting, start to finish, so you can picture it. We read Genesis 29, where Jacob works fourteen years for Rachel, and Laban changes the terms on him halfway through.
“So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her.”Genesis 29:20
The question: Is the weight of a family a burden or a blessing, and what turns one into the other?
- Into the textVerse 20 says seven years felt like a few days. What made the difference?
- Into our livesWhere does your work feel like fourteen years right now, and where does it feel like a few days?
- Into the hard partLaban changed the terms, and Jacob kept working. When the terms change on you, what happens to your love?
- Back to the text“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it” (Psalm 126). Who is building your house?
Every man leaves with a card like this
So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her.Genesis 29:20 What turns the weight of a family from a burden into a blessing? My one thing this week
Examples a man might choose: thank my wife for one thing she carries, by name. Pray for each of my children by name every night.
What we talk about
The life of a Christian man, in six parts.
Each meeting takes one subject from this list, with a passage of Scripture that speaks to it. Fr Matthew approves every meeting in advance.
The inner man
- A man's thoughts
- Pride and the male ego
- A man's anger
- A man's appetites
- When a man runs empty
Becoming a man of God
- Manhood in Christ
- A man of his word
- A man's courage
- Who a man is before God
Marriage and family
- The Orthodox husband
- Purity and chastity
- Single men and courtship
- Fatherhood
Work and the world
- The provider
- Leading at home, at work, in the parish
- Brotherhood among men
- A Christian man in the culture
Prayer and the Church
- A man's prayer
- The fight a man is in
- A man who falls and gets up
- A man's place in the Church
Trial and holiness
- A man under trial
- A man facing death
- Becoming the man God made
How the group grows
We begin with Scripture and grow from there.
Foundation
Scripture and the question. The men learn the prayers, learn to listen, and learn to trust each other.
The Jesus Prayer
“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.” Learned the way the Church teaches it, using Metropolitan Kallistos Ware's teaching, under Fr Matthew's guidance.
The Fathers
Short readings from the saints on the life of a man: St John Chrysostom on marriage, St John Climacus on anger, and more.
Fr Matthew sets the pace for each step.
Beyond Saturday morning
Brotherhood grows outside the meeting room too.
A few times a year we get out together. Shoulder to shoulder on a trail or in a bowling lane is where a lot of friendship between men starts.
Hikes
Trails around the Fraser Valley and Cultus Lake, at a pace every man can keep.
Bowling nights
An easy evening out, and a good first step for a man who's curious about the group.
Breakfasts and barbecues
Food, conversation and time together, with no agenda beyond that.
Serving together
Helping a parish family move, a work day at the church, a meal for someone who needs one.
Every man of the parish is welcome at the outings, including men whose Saturday mornings are already full. Dates go out in the group chat.
Who it's for
Every man of the parish.
Come as you are, whether you've been Orthodox all your life or walked in last month. Bring a friend.
What every man agrees to
- What's said here stays here.That includes the group chat.
- Speak from your own life.Each man answers for himself.
- Everyone has room to speak.Short answers, so every man gets a turn. Any man may pass.
- Listen to understand.Hear a brother out before answering him.
- Start on time, finish on time.Families and work plans depend on it.
- Your soul belongs with your confessor.The group shares and prays. Guidance for your own spiritual life comes from your priest.
Questions
What men usually ask first.
Do I have to be Orthodox?
Orthodox men and men exploring the Orthodox faith are both welcome.
I'm single. Is this for me?
Yes. Some topics speak to husbands and fathers, others to single men, and most to every man.
Will I have to share?
Only as much as you want. You can listen for as long as you like, and any man may pass when the question comes round.
Will what I say stay private?
Yes. Every man agrees that what's said in the room stays in the room, and that includes the group chat.
What if I can't come every week?
Come when you can. Each meeting stands on its own, so you can walk in any week and follow along.
I don't know the Bible or the prayers well.
That's fine. The prayers are printed for everyone, and the passage is read aloud and explained before we talk.
Who leads it?
Stephan Stavrakis leads the group, with the blessing of Fr Matthew Francis. Fr Matthew approves every meeting in advance and joins us when he can.
Is this a replacement for confession?
The group is for brotherhood, Scripture and prayer. Each man's confession and spiritual guidance stay with his priest.
How long is it, and what does it cost?
The length will be announced with the first date, and we always start and finish on time. It's free. Men take turns bringing breakfast.
What should I bring?
Yourself. Bring a Bible if you have one. We'll have spares.
How do we stay in touch between meetings?
A WhatsApp group for meeting times, the week's passage and prayer requests. Men without WhatsApp get a text instead.
Can I bring a friend, or my son?
Friends are welcome. For sons, speak to Stephan first.
Do I have to come to the outings?
Come to whatever suits you. Some men come to the meetings, some to the outings, and many to both.
Join us
Two ways in. Pick the easiest.
- 1Find Stephan after LiturgyAny Sunday at coffee hour. Introduce yourself and he'll take it from there.
- 2Leave your name hereStephan will text you within a day, add you to the group chat, and remind you before the first meeting.
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.”Psalm 132:1 (133:1)